He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
