Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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