Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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