dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
