i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
