there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
