Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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