I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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