Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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