He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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