do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
