Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
