Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
