That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
