how can u be prego again
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
