How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
