Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
