You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
