I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
