I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
