So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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