so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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