he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
