Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
