therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
