I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
