It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
