i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
is that a dick in a sweater?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
