Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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