it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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