Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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