This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
