I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
