So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
