i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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