She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
thus making me awesome and them whores
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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