3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
