Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
