I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
