your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
