Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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