Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
