before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
