Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
