My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
