Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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