This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
