oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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