i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
