Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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