I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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